It's hard to
provide an all-inclusive answer to the question "Why do we fall in
love?" That is because there are a multitude of possible reasons. Knowing
what makes love happen is an interesting study in biochemistry, psychology and
neuroscience. Dopamine, dubbed the pleasure hormone, alongside testosterone,
oxytocin, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine, work hand-in-glove to create a
feedback loop of love. These chemicals cause you to pay attention to their
source, and push you to seek for more of the same chemicals. However, love is
not just chemicals, it takes into consideration preferences and personal
history as well.
Getting
to know a person can cause you to fall in love with them. If the other person
answers as little as 36 questions about themselves, in as little as 2 hours,
and you find their revelations interesting, it is possible that you fall in
love with them. When you fall in love with the idea of someone, the attraction
grows as your impression of them improves. However, falling in love with the
idea of a person means you fall in love with their potential, and not who they
really are. This would cause a problem were these feelings lead to a
relationship.
Identification
could be the reason you fall in love with a person. Identification was first
discussed by Sigmund Freud in his early writings. It is a psychological process
where you unconsciously assimilate or adopt an aspect of another person. There
are two important categories of identification - narcissistic identification
and attachment identification. Narcissistic identification causes you to fall
in love with someone who is like you now, or like you in the past. Narcissistic
identification could also cause you to fall in love with someone who has a
characteristic you always longed for but never had. With attachment
identification, you rather fall in love with someone who reminds you of a
person you loved and admired, such as a parent.
The
homogamy theory propones that you tend to be attracted to people who have
similar life circumstances like you - age, education, social class, race, religion,
values, looks, amongst others. Research has proven that couples who share more
similar traits report more satisfaction, and the relationship tends to last
longer. Opposites may attract, but similarities are what keep people together.
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