Born on March 9, 1984,
Mark Manson is a self-help author, personal
development consultant, entrepreneur, and blogger. As of 2019, Mark
Manson has authored three books; the first published in 2011 is Models: Attract Women Through Honesty,
his second, published in 2016: The Subtle
Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A
Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (a NYTimes bestseller), and
his third,
1. We are a culture in need not of
peace or prosperity or new hood ornaments for our electric cars. We have all
that. We are a culture in need of something far more precarious. We are a
culture and a people in need of hope. - Everything
is F*cked, Chapter 1
2. Bravery is common. Resilience is
common. But heroism has a philosophical component to it. There's some great
"Why?" that heroes bring to the table - some incredible cause or
belief that goes unshaken, no matter what. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 1
3. Our psyche needs hope to survive
the way a fish needs water. Hope is the fuel for our mental engine. It's the
butter on our biscuit. It's a lot of really cheesy metaphors. Without hope,
your whole mental apparatus will stall out or starve. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 1
4. We are a culture in need not of
peace or prosperity or new hood ornaments for our electric cars. We have all
that. We are a culture in need of something far more precarious. We are a
culture and a people in need of hope. - Everything
is F*cked, Chapter 1
5. We live in an interesting time in
that, materially, things are arguably better than they have ever been before,
yet we all seem to be losing our minds thinking the world is one giant toilet
bowl about to be flushed. An irrational sense of hopelessness is spreading
across the rich, developed world. It's a paradox of progress: the better things
get, the more anxious and desperate we all seem to feel. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 1
6. People are liars, all of us. We
lie constantly and habitually. We lie about important things and trifling
things. And we usually don't lie out of malice - rather, we lie to others
because we're in such a habit of lying to ourselves - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 3
7. Let's be real: People suck, and
life is exceedingly difficult and unpredictable. Most of us are winging it as
we go, if not completely lost. And if we didn't have some false belief in our
own superiority (or inferiority), a deluded belief that we're extraordinary at
something, we'd line up to swan-dive off the nearest bridge. Without a little
bit of that narcissistic delusion, without that perpetual lie we tell ourselves
about our specialness, we'd likely give up hope. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 3
8. The values we pick up throughout
our lives crystallize and form a sediment on top of our personality. The only
way to change our values is to have experiences contrary to our values. And any
attempt to break free from those values through new or contrary experiences
will inevitably be met with pain and discomfort. This is why there is no such
thing as change without pain, no growth without discomfort. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 3
9. All peoples are more the same than
they are different. We all mostly want the same things out of life. But those
slight differences generate emotion, and emotion generates a sense of
importance. Therefore, we come to perceive our differences as
disproportionately more important than our similarities. And this is the true
tragedy of man. That we are doomed to perpetual conflict over the slight
difference. - Everything is
F*cked, Chapter 3
10. We need rituals because rituals
make our values tangible. You can't think your way toward valuing something.
You have to live it. You have to experience it. And one way of making it easier
for others to live and experience a value is to make up cute outfits for them
to wear and important-sounding words for them to say - in short, to give them
rituals. Rituals are visual and experiential representations of what we deem
important. That's why every good religion has them. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 4
11. Leaders need their followers to be
perpetually dissatisfied; it's good for the leadership business. If everything
were perfect and great, there'd be no reason to follow anybody. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 4
12. Let me be the one to break the bad
news to you: human pain is like a game of Whac-A-Mole. Every time you knock
down one kind of pain, another one pops up. And the faster you whack them, the
faster they come back. The pain may get better, it may change shape, it may be
less catastrophic each time. But it will always be there. It's part of us. It is us. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 4
13. Science is arguably the most
effective religion because it is the first religion that is able to evolve and
improve upon itself. It is open to anybody and everybody. It is not moored to a
single book or creed. It is not beholden to some ancient land or people. It is
not tethered to a supernatural spirit whose existence cannot be proven or
disproven. It is an ongoing, ever-changing body of evidence-based beliefs, one
that is free to mutate, grow, and shift as the evidence dictates. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 5
14. Like a surgeon's scalpel, hope can
save a life, and hope can take a life. It can uplift us, and it can destroy us.
Just as there are healthy and damaging forms of confidence, and healthy and
damaging forms of love, there are also healthy and damaging forms of hope. And
the difference between the two is not always clear. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 5
15. Worshiping some supernatural God,
some abstract principle, some bottomless desire, when pursued long enough, will
always result in giving up your own humanity or the humanity of others in order
to achieve the aims of that worship. And what was supposed to save you from
suffering then plunges you back into suffering. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 6
16. Our emotional reactions to our
problems are not determined by the size of the problem. Rather, our minds
simply amplify (or minimize) our problems to fit the degree of stress we expect
to experience. Material progress and security do not necessarily relax us or
make it easier to hope for the future. On the contrary, it appears that perhaps
by removing healthy adversity and challenge, people struggle even more. They
become more selfish and more childish. They fail to develop and mature out of
adolescence. They remain further removed from any virtue. They see mountains
where there are molehills. And they scream at each other as though the world
were one endless stream of spilled milk. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 7
17. Pain is the experience of life
itself. Positive emotions are the temporary removal of pain; negative emotions
the temporary augmentation of it. To numb one's pain is to numb all feeling,
all emotion. It is to quietly remove oneself from living. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 7
18. The pursuit of happiness is a
toxic value that has long defined our culture. It is self-defeating and
misleading. Living well does not mean avoiding suffering; it means suffering
for the right reasons. Because if we're going to be forced to suffer by simply
existing, we might as well learn how to suffer well. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 7
19. Life is one never-ending stream of
pain, and to grow is not to find a way to avoid that stream but, rather, to
dive into it and successfully navigate its depths. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 7
20. There's nothing necessarily wrong
with diversions; we all need them from time to time. The problem is when they
begin to dominate our lives and wrest control away from our will. Many
diversions trip certain circuits in our brain, making them addictive. The more
you numb pain, the worse that pain becomes, thus impelling you to numb it
further. At a certain point, the icky ball of pain grows to such great
proportions that your avoidance of that pain becomes compulsive. You lose
control of yourself - your Feeling Brain has locked your Thinking Brain in the
trunk and isn't letting it out until it gets its next hit of whatever. And the
downward spiral ensues. - Everything
is F*cked, Chapter 8
21. I dare to hope for a post-hope
world, where people are never treated merely as means but always as ends, where
no consciousness is sacrificed for some greater religious aim, where no
identity is harmed out of malice or greed or negligence, where the ability to
reason and act is held in the highest regard by all, and where this is reflected
not only in our hearts but also in our social institutions and business models. - Everything is F*cked, Chapter 9
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